I often worry that I'll be a bad parent. I have my father's temper and I know I have problems controlling it. Although I know what overboard is, thanks to my father raising us for the most part and putting us through Hell, I still fear I won't be able to control snapping. It scares me to death that I'll loose patience. I never want my kids to go through what my dad did to us.
I know how I want to raise my children when I have them. I want them to have enough freedom as I can give them, but still raise them to know who's boss and who to respect. I don't want to force them into doing things they don't want to, with the exception of normal house chores which I feel benefits children. It teaches them responsibility along with getting them in the habit of being clean. I also feel it keep children grounded to have responsibilities. I won't force them out of the things they like to do.
Along with normal house chores, my father constantly made us do landscaping and lawn work. We had to remodel the house and if we didn't do it correctly, we were punished. It's nothing a child should be doing and the punishment was uncalled for, not to mention, extreme most of the time. We were punished for the dumbest reasons in the worse ways. Anything we did for fun, he ruined. I played soccer for two years because I thought it'd be fun and I quit because he would yell and scream at me for not being good. The sad part is I didn't want to quit because I loved playing it. I just couldn't handle him turning into something so serious and stressful. I found drama club later down the road and he made me drop out my second year in it because my grades were bad and he accused drama club. For the most part it was his fault my grades were bad. He didn't give me time to study or do homework with all the lawn work and remodeling we were always doing. As a result, school was social for me, never about grades, since dad didn't give me time to hang out with friends. My proof for that: When I moved out to my mom's and started going to Harding, slowly but surely, my grades went up. I never want to do that to my children. I also have no intention of forcing my beliefs onto them. I want them to explore everything and make up their own mind on things.
I know how I want to raise my children when I have them. I want them to have enough freedom as I can give them, but still raise them to know who's boss and who to respect. I don't want to force them into doing things they don't want to, with the exception of normal house chores which I feel benefits children. It teaches them responsibility along with getting them in the habit of being clean. I also feel it keep children grounded to have responsibilities. I won't force them out of the things they like to do.
Along with normal house chores, my father constantly made us do landscaping and lawn work. We had to remodel the house and if we didn't do it correctly, we were punished. It's nothing a child should be doing and the punishment was uncalled for, not to mention, extreme most of the time. We were punished for the dumbest reasons in the worse ways. Anything we did for fun, he ruined. I played soccer for two years because I thought it'd be fun and I quit because he would yell and scream at me for not being good. The sad part is I didn't want to quit because I loved playing it. I just couldn't handle him turning into something so serious and stressful. I found drama club later down the road and he made me drop out my second year in it because my grades were bad and he accused drama club. For the most part it was his fault my grades were bad. He didn't give me time to study or do homework with all the lawn work and remodeling we were always doing. As a result, school was social for me, never about grades, since dad didn't give me time to hang out with friends. My proof for that: When I moved out to my mom's and started going to Harding, slowly but surely, my grades went up. I never want to do that to my children. I also have no intention of forcing my beliefs onto them. I want them to explore everything and make up their own mind on things.
Agreed! Its hard - you'll still find yourself stupidly snapping at your kids and knowing while you're doing it that you are your parents, but you have the insight to recognize it, and will have the ability to find ways around it. But I can tell you now, that kids are freakin exhausting, and when you get very tired and stressed all your instincts come out.
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